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Some kind of performance was delayed at a small theater. The amphitheater seating was at capacity. I was called down to engage the crowd during the delay. I went backstage to collect myself alone and think about things to say. When I went to the mic, I asked if anybody knew any good jokes. Some people raised their hands to share. A recent breakup was sitting up in the back. He kept leaning to the side to see me around the tall head in front of him and was grinning goofy. I tried to block him out so I could focus on my task at hand. A young couple came to the stage and seemed to want me to marry them. I prepared myself to go through the motions even though I wasn’t ordained or whatever it is you’re supposed to be to marry people.

A friend was walking me through some kind of big modern lots-of-greenish-glass professional building. We knew eachother pretty well. Somehow the building and my friend’s job overlapped with the same recent breakup from the theater in the previous dream scene. There were women around the building that were sad and unhappy. They had all been deceived by my breakup guy, too. They all thought they’d been the only one for him. I was trying to console them. Some were quite young and seriously heartbroken. He was hidden somewhere around in the building, freaking out about all these women finding out about eachother and being in the same place. I found him and was trying to tell him it’d be ok, to just tell the truth because it’s the hiding and lying that caused harm, that the rest of what he was doing was nothing to be ashamed of. He was too nervous to hear my words. Too busy trying to figure how to spin this one, too.



I half woke up while dreaming about a house remodel. A young woman was replacing some nice corner windows while I was going about my day. In my half-wakefulness, I tried to solidify the dream in my consciousness but when I fully awoke, this was all that was left to write.

Birds in hiding

A recent breakup and I were trying to connect but people kept coming around interrupting. We kept trying to move to different places in some big house to be secret about things but we were there for some event or something and lots of people were coming and going. At some point I was doing something with other people – or maybe I was lying down alone. He was standing against a wall with a gentle demeanor looking at me, wearing a shirt recently passed out to people in a group I belong to. He said he loves me and something like “if I was able to be with anybody I would want it to be you.” In the dream I believed him.

I was tidying up in a kitchen, rinsing stuff down the drain in a sink. There was a colorful mass of food that wasn’t moving and turned into a bird. A bright and multi colored cockatiel-sized bird. It was folded up and ready to be washed down when I realized it was a bird. I shouted for help from the other people in the house, friends not particularly tuned into my troubles. When one (perhaps the breakup man) started toward the kitchen to see what I was shouting on about I said, “it’s a bird, I don’t know how it got here” but when I turned to the sink again it was gone. He came in as I looked under the cabinets but saw it nowhere.


Loose ends

I was getting ready for a class field trip and housesitting for some people. I bought a new computer then took it in the shower with me. I was nearly finished in the shower before I realized that was a terrible idea. I got out and dried the computer off best I could then wrapped it in a towel, snug on its most vulnerable spots. My friend came over and agreed it had been a bad idea.

I was talking with a student about our trip and realized I hadn’t arranged lodging yet. I told her we’d stayed at somebody’s house last time then wondered what to do this time since that relationship had since become complicated. I made a note to call the hotel. I also realized I hadn’t typed up the important notes for some teams who were competing in the event we were traveling to attend.

Back at the housesitting job my friend was still hanging out. There was a bowl with cords in it on a desk/entertainment center thing. Some of them were wrapped up nicely together and some were just loose. I started fixing one to line up with the others and my friend said that cord had been bothering her a long time. I finished that one and asked her to hand me the grey cord from the side of the cabinet. She grabbed it and it was still connected somewhere behind the cabinetry. She pulled more and it opened a window on the wall behind me. We decided that was probably one to leave be.

In class (even though school was out for the summer) my professor lovingly but disappointedly asked why I didn’t send that project letter in. I think I thought it was an assignment but I guess it was a bigger, more long term project. I told her I’d been very sick with a stomach flu. It was true but nobody believes a slacker. She asked my friend (not classmate) and I to write some notes on the board about the article we’d read. The article was well organized so it wasn’t too bad to write notes without having read it thoroughly. When we sat down for discussion our professor was gone. A less popular professor had stepped in in her place. A classmate was pissed and said she wasn’t going to stay for this since he’d only talk to us about Mit Romney. I asked her where the prof had gone but she was too annoyed to fully consider the options. I suggested maybe an emergency had come up and thought of unfortunate scenarios that might make somebody leave their class so quickly without a word. All the students took the opportunity for an early afternoon. 
There was a tray of free cookie samples in a bakery with too many choices to only take one. Like everyone else, I took two and tried to be covert about it. A large man behind the counter conveyed his annoyance of this but I forget how…just remember his smiling, angry, red face and loud voice. I put one cookie in my pocket, knowing I’d have to eat it soon or the chocolate would melt, while I thought of all the justifications for taking two. 

Maybe it was in Hawaii. After the day was over people wanted to hang out. They said they’d be up till 2 or so swimming near their hotel (which was an apartment complex).  I said a non-commital ok as I headed in the other direction. I passed by some food booths and stopped to see what vegetarian options were offered. I don’t think I got anything but not for lack of good options.

The next morning I was walking towards the conference center. I ran into a group of friends and acquaintances from my old department milling about in a courtyard. They were drinking and joking. I thought, “ah, this is why they are the way they are.” I enjoyed half a beer then went on to my class. I didn’t want to be late. Outside class a woman I barely knew said her friend had a friend, probably not from Jamaica, they were hoping I’d like to meet. I said I don’t like setups and she said to think about it. I had to work to squeeze my half beer into the already stuffed mini-fridge provided in the hall for class-goers. I was late to class.

In class they were playing a game. The woman who asked me to meet her friend’s friend was the teacher. There were tables set up front like an assembly line and students moving along them, doing something with papers at each table. I asked the girl I would sit by what I should know. She started to explain but it was very complicated. At one point the teacher asked a question and the girl said, “don’t make eye contact!” and she laid straight in her chair like a dead fish. I quickly laid down, too, on the side of her chair until it was safe. I sat next to her where there was a man to my left. I asked him a question which apparently upset the girl. She wouldn’t help me anymore.

I went to the next class where my long time mentor was teaching. She was walking back from the bathroom with my friend and said I should go to the bathroom. So I did. It was very busy. Instead of paper seat covers there were sticky paper overalls. They were hard to put on and the girls waiting were unkindly impatient. They opened my door as I was finishing, saying mean things about me to me and to eachother. I don’t know what their deal was. I threw my sticky overalls into the trash down the hall and headed back to class.

A friend (Carter Nix in American Crime) and I broke into an office on our local university campus. I was on lookout and don’t remember what we were after…maybe a pile of money but that doesn’t make sense to my wakened self now. A man came walking up to the window with a flashlight, Carter and I ducked low to the ground. We must have broken the window pretty cleanly because the man didn’t seem phased by it having no glass. He left, we resumed. There was a chocolate sheet cake on the table. We took some slices, at least a third of the cake. I think we only used our hands but the cuts were so straight and our hands stayed clean. We left through the window, between the blinds and the hole in the glass. We left campus, avoiding cameras. I put the hood up on my coat while we walked. Later in the car I said, “oh no! I bet it’s somebody’s birthday tomorrow and the cake was for them!” We felt bad but ate our slices, reserves in our pockets. Chocolate cake, chocolate frosting and filling. I hadn’t read the message on top. I went home. My mom wasn’t home and didn’t return until after maybe 11 which was out of character. She asked how the dog was. I’d forgotten to check so said he probably needed out.

I was riding my bike home in the daytime. It seemed like the first time I’d ridden in a long time because I wasn’t very coordinated. I rode into a shop I was unfamiliar with. There was a line, it seemed popular. There were bikes and clothes, mostly short shorts, and friendly associates. I wondered where the exit door was and found it was the same as the entrance door. Small shop. I went on my way. A nice young man, also on a bike, seemed like he wanted to chat. If I did, though, he’d learn i didn’t really ride much. I hoped he wouldn’t notice how uncoordinated I was.

Lots of trees had fallen after a bad local ice storm. Animals had been hurt, some killed. I was walking in town on a sidewalk between a park and a road. There was lots of grass around. I saw a tree limb down on top of a deer who didn’t make it. Just past the deer, at the next still-standing tree, I saw a little baby hippo! It was the size of a football and just hanging out there in the grass near the road. I picked it up and turned to see a tiny coffee mug sized baby elephant next to my foot. It was rolling around so happy and cute! I picked it up, too. It was so soft and sweet and climbed into my jacket around my back and snuggled in. I walked home wondering what to feed them both and how long it would take for them to get huge.

My friend was at my house, sitting in my kitchen. I said, “look what I found!” I put the hippo down on my counter. My friend was not impressed. I said, “wait, that’s not all,” and brought the snugly elephant out of my jacket. She could not resist such cuteness so I handed the elephant to her. It was so happy and wiggly and cuddled right on her. I fed the hippo a piece of lettuce that looked like celery.

The hippo looked ready to jump off the counter so I put it on the floor. It was a fast little runner for having such short legs! It ran upstairs to a door, which I opened. It sniffed around, found a spot, then peed and threw up almost simultaneously. I took it outside to my back yard. It ran so fast around the corner, I couldn’t get to it before it went under the neighbor’s fence where a cow was also passing through. The neighbor’s pig and dogs came out. The wiener dog was running along, barking, on top of the fence line. The rottweiler seemed ready to pounce on my hippo. The hippo didn’t know what to do so kept freezing. I couldn’t get over there and nobody heard me calling for help.

I woke up so upset, I had to make a half-awake alternate ending to get back to sleep. In that ending, the hippo and I went to PetSmart to get a pretty halter and leash.

Baby stuff

A friend came in to a class I was taking before it started or maybe during a break. She brought some things out of her bag, baby things. A tiny sweater she’d knitted with incredible quality. It was off white with a wooden button. So tiny. Another sweater was bigger, lighter, longer, pink. Then she brought out a doll that (only in the dream) had been mine as a child. I became very nostalgic and it made me think of my great grandmother. I told the people around me that I used to carry it around everywhere and call it ‘my baby’. The girl (a friend?) sitting next to me took the small white sweater and put it in her backpack. I wished she didn’t because I wanted it, too, for my real baby though I did wonder if it’d be too tiny. Nobody knew yet about my baby though so I had no grounds to object. I was grateful for the thoughtful gifts.


Though not far enough along to be confirmed, I looked in the mirror and my belly and breasts were protruding from pregnancy. At first I was taken aback. Then I was happy and proud.

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